disjunct. odds. ends.

[aftertherockets]

I feel like I'm at such loose ends lately. So many loose ends just flailing about.

I've watched the snow fall from my window, watched it cover the ground as the sun came up, as it turned from black to grey to blue to white. I saw thousands of footprints, betraying every step of every person who came by, no longer allowing their travels to remain invisible.

Somehow, it became April. Soon I will be old, soon I will die.

I'm rereading The Blind Assassin, because I love it so, and because I couldn't stomach The Waves. It's a lovely book. You should read it, especially if you are a writer.

I don't like being alone, but lately I'm having trouble with people. A disconnect. Nervous hands, fluttering voice. I want to embrace everyone I see while simultaneously running, fleeing, driving far away. I could leave, but I'll just stay.

Anti-feminists really bug me, especially when they're female, and I've been hearing and seeing a lot of them around me lately. How can you be a woman in today's society and not be a feminist? It's too late, I'm too tired to espouse any opinions right now, but maybe a post will be forthcoming.

I finished my story. I hate the ending. It's ridiculous and comes out of no where and then just ends abruptly. Maybe I'll just tell everyone that isn't the ending, but I don't know where to go yet. Or maybe I just won't show up for class for the rest of the semester and then they can't ever workshop it. Also, my characters are flat and boring, the storyline is boring and no one will care about it, and I don't even have any good description to make up for any of its problems. Writing is too stressful.

I should take a shower, clear my mind, go to bed. I need to get out of here. Out of Westminster, out of Maryland, out of my current life. If only for just a little while.

Comments

[bonacheeta.livejournal.com]

I enjoy my freedoms as a woman, but I just feel feminist is a bit of a strong word. If anything, I am an equal rights advocate.

Think about it... Women got the right to vote before blacks. I think we are being a bit selfish in our desire to be equal just as women, so I don't want to single myself out as a single activist. I'm not even an activist. I don't believe in tearing down rainforests, but I don't go walking around with signs saying "Save the rainforest." I think of feminists as those ppl always talking about women's rights and that annoys me just as much as Christians trying to "save" me.

Maybe I am a feminist for just the plain fact of believing in women's rights.

Femno-nazi is a perfect term for those people who are looking to be better than everyone else. Isn't that the point of nazi-ism? I think I am perfectly intelligent enough to make the connection and wish not to be directly attacked for my use of terms. I am not saying that all feminists are femno-nazis.

I like to be independent enough, but I also still believe in the bread-winner society. I grew up to it. I would like to have a husband that will help bring in an income, and I have the choice to work myself to help out. Or I can have kids, which is a big IF cuz I hate kids. I'll stay home and take care of the cats. I still believe in chivalry, and obvioulsy not being beaten by my significant other. But along with feminism came the independence, and out with the chilvary.

Heather should know from some of her readings how much more romantic guys were towards women back in the day. Today we're lucky if our romantic guys take us out to McDonalds. Just 50 years ago there was more chivalry than today! Bah, I say.

[(Anonymous)]

actually blacks had the vote in a crazy way during reconstruction, so technically they got it first then they were excluded by stuff like the grandfather clause.

[(Anonymous)]

and no its not the point of nazism. it isnt about being better, its about others being worse and purification. it wasnt an issue of betterness from their viewpoint, it was an issue of disease, cure and preservation. if the nazis truly thought they were better than the jews, they would not have gone through all the trouble to exterminate them and just let them die out since they are obviously inferior.

instead, everyone feared stuff like the "protocols of the elders of zion" where jews are the ultimate evil and their elders plot and scheme to undermine all world governments to envelop the world in a bunch of jew-doms. Not only did this document spark hitlers drive for power and his coup of the German government, but it also inspired anti-semitism in people like Henry Ford. So I'd say that Hitler actually feared the jews rather than saying they found them inferior. The whole race issue which is often interpreted as a "we are better" campaign, I would posit as misleading. Since better from the Nazi standpoint is in the sense of purity of essence and that the jews were instruments of pure evil. but since they needed to find more support of this, they brought into the fray the inferiority issue and a eugenic purpose for the ultimate solution. still really bored. =)

[(Anonymous)]

ergo, it wasnt rooted in better, it was rooted in fear. but i suppose with that you could argue the chicken or the egg...

im a masculinist. i want to be treated just as dainty as any girl. and the fact that chivalry only goes one way is rooted in neanderthal logic that men are the power and women the pure morals behind the men. no fair. im moral. i dont need no woman to tell me i shouldn't fight and drink to excess and curse. i want the door opened for me sometime. most of all...I WANT FREE DRINKS AND DINNER TO GET ME TO LAY A GAL! thats it, im becoming metrosexual. end of story.

your friendly neighborhood spikey-haired turtleboy who never agrees with heather on almost anything. search for the racist controversy surrounding my school on CNN! (Carnegie Mellon) some white boy put the "N-word" in print! golly forbid! PC bastards. Fascists! next youll be saying i cant print anti-asian sentiments and the word gook if i hate me and mine!

[(Anonymous)]

sorry bonnie =) no more controversial items discussion with you. i was just notified by the hey-there council. i will only argue with anyone who wants to take issue with me. because i like controversy!

[bonacheeta.livejournal.com]

I know the story of Hitler, yo. He was also afraid of homosexuals, and was actually believed to be homosexual. He was afraid of things he was. Wasn't his mom Jewish too? Or something... I forgot.

Annnyyywaaayyy...

Don't get me started on the injustices of the Native Americans. ;) My ppl suffered too!

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

The doctor who tried to keep his sick mother alive was Jewish. Interestingly, when Hitler started rounding up the Jews into camps, he sought this guy out and let me leave the country unhurt.

Little tidbits from Western Civ come back to me at strange moments. :)