disjunct. odds. ends.

[aftertherockets]

I feel like I'm at such loose ends lately. So many loose ends just flailing about.

I've watched the snow fall from my window, watched it cover the ground as the sun came up, as it turned from black to grey to blue to white. I saw thousands of footprints, betraying every step of every person who came by, no longer allowing their travels to remain invisible.

Somehow, it became April. Soon I will be old, soon I will die.

I'm rereading The Blind Assassin, because I love it so, and because I couldn't stomach The Waves. It's a lovely book. You should read it, especially if you are a writer.

I don't like being alone, but lately I'm having trouble with people. A disconnect. Nervous hands, fluttering voice. I want to embrace everyone I see while simultaneously running, fleeing, driving far away. I could leave, but I'll just stay.

Anti-feminists really bug me, especially when they're female, and I've been hearing and seeing a lot of them around me lately. How can you be a woman in today's society and not be a feminist? It's too late, I'm too tired to espouse any opinions right now, but maybe a post will be forthcoming.

I finished my story. I hate the ending. It's ridiculous and comes out of no where and then just ends abruptly. Maybe I'll just tell everyone that isn't the ending, but I don't know where to go yet. Or maybe I just won't show up for class for the rest of the semester and then they can't ever workshop it. Also, my characters are flat and boring, the storyline is boring and no one will care about it, and I don't even have any good description to make up for any of its problems. Writing is too stressful.

I should take a shower, clear my mind, go to bed. I need to get out of here. Out of Westminster, out of Maryland, out of my current life. If only for just a little while.

Comments

[loudreality.livejournal.com]

allow me to clarify
I'm all about women's power and I think women are great, and I think they should be equal to men, because well... we are equal.
what I don't agree with is the crazies who make men out to be some beast and who act like women are supreme and all-powerful and that all men are cheating, womanizing morons. Because they aren't. I also don't agree with women who blame everything wrong in their lives on the fact that they are women and therefor are treated unfairly.
I really am all about the idea behind feminism, just like I am all about spirituality. There are just people who go to extreems and that bugs me.
but whatever. agree to disagree?

also
"I've watched the snow fall from my window, watched it cover the ground as the sun came up, as it turned from black to grey to blue to white. I saw thousands of footprints, betraying every step of every person who came by, no longer allowing their travels to remain invisible."
that's very lovely and poetic. well said ;)

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

Well, let me just say that I didn't mean that to be directed at you. Your post is what made me think about it, but it's been popping up around me a lot lately. And I didn't figure you for someone who thinks women should sit at home and knit, which is why I figured I would wait for your poem and then comment. ;)

I'm in a class this semester that centers on feminist literature, so feminism is a topic that's been on my mind a lot lately. And I do believe I will post my own thoughts on it soon, and then we can all have a lively debate and it will be fun, yes? :)

Also, thank you. For the compliment. ;)

[loudreality.livejournal.com]

yay! debate!
I didn't think it was necessarily directed at me, but reading back on it, I realized how bad it might sound.
but I do love to knit ;)

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

Hehe, and I love cross-stitch. ;)