i can't take it i can't take it ahhhhh

[aftertherockets]

I know you've heard this song. You wanna know how I feel right now? I feel like this song. Calm and screaming all at the same time.


We have been sleeping with the lights on
Just about every night
Because we are afraid of what the dark might bring
I know, I know it's just a childish fear
That grows and grows wild in the middle of me
I'm gonna get a new tattoo
Black and stretching around my arm
Like a life that is visible and real
I know, I know it's stupid and immature
I just want to give shape to the face
That twists inside both you and me
Breathing fire doesn't look good on a resume
Neither does anything else we do
We got to get ready for the real world
Yeah yeah we got to grow up
You know I like to die for awhile
Everyday in the afternoon
I like to let the arms of a bar wrap around me tight
I'm just going to sprawl in the front booth
Big drink above my head
Cross eyes and smiling as I watch the world go twisting by
I don't want to die with you,
Or live in the same dark room
I don't want to see your bloodshot eyes no more, no more
I just want to take this girl
all curls and big brown eyes
Man I can't take the pain of wanting her, needing her
I know the secret of your soul
And I just don't want to know
Yeah, man we got to grow up


That last shred of sanity I'm clinging to is growing smaller by the hour.

I'm being cryptic cause that's better than whining. I guess.

I was told today I have no heart. I think he was kidding, but I'm not so sure. I am awfully mean to a lot of people. A lot of the time.

Also, I was going to do that meme where I list 10 favorite shows and you guess which are my favorite characters from each show, but then I noticed that all of my favorite characters, every single one of them, represent some ideal of maleness that is virtually unattainable. Some kind of fictionalized perfection in my warped little brain. And honestly, not even because the characters are perfect--more often than not they have Serious Issues. Anyway, I didn't do the meme cause the implications bother me a little bit. Also because I was spending too much time thinking about something else that doesn't matter.

I have to write. My professor is going to kill me tomorrow.

Comments

[roxyoi301.livejournal.com]

I hope that person was kidding, because I definately say you do have a heart. Well....except when you eat skittles, then you are just down right mean to me :(. But it's alright, b/c you are still awesome.

Stay sane, good luck on the paper