disjunct. odds. ends.

[aftertherockets]

I feel like I'm at such loose ends lately. So many loose ends just flailing about.

I've watched the snow fall from my window, watched it cover the ground as the sun came up, as it turned from black to grey to blue to white. I saw thousands of footprints, betraying every step of every person who came by, no longer allowing their travels to remain invisible.

Somehow, it became April. Soon I will be old, soon I will die.

I'm rereading The Blind Assassin, because I love it so, and because I couldn't stomach The Waves. It's a lovely book. You should read it, especially if you are a writer.

I don't like being alone, but lately I'm having trouble with people. A disconnect. Nervous hands, fluttering voice. I want to embrace everyone I see while simultaneously running, fleeing, driving far away. I could leave, but I'll just stay.

Anti-feminists really bug me, especially when they're female, and I've been hearing and seeing a lot of them around me lately. How can you be a woman in today's society and not be a feminist? It's too late, I'm too tired to espouse any opinions right now, but maybe a post will be forthcoming.

I finished my story. I hate the ending. It's ridiculous and comes out of no where and then just ends abruptly. Maybe I'll just tell everyone that isn't the ending, but I don't know where to go yet. Or maybe I just won't show up for class for the rest of the semester and then they can't ever workshop it. Also, my characters are flat and boring, the storyline is boring and no one will care about it, and I don't even have any good description to make up for any of its problems. Writing is too stressful.

I should take a shower, clear my mind, go to bed. I need to get out of here. Out of Westminster, out of Maryland, out of my current life. If only for just a little while.

Comments

[bonacheeta.livejournal.com]

I'm anti-feminist. Just read my work on "What Happened to Chivalry?" Yeah, I just don't like femno-nazis. I'm all for women's rights and stuff, but the ppl that want to be just treated better than everyone else annoy me.

Matt's ex was a feminist, so she didn't believe in shaving or deoderant. She thought it was the female opressing society that made women do such things as shave and smell good.... I hope you get my point.
Some of us shave to not look gross, some of us use deoderant to not smell like ass... not because we feel opressed by men.

And what happened to chivalry? Women's equal rights movement, that's what. No more knights on white horses for us. We gonna have to get our own damn horses.

[loudreality.livejournal.com]

damn you for being better at articulating exactly what I meant!!!!
;D

[bonacheeta.livejournal.com]

hehe, I try. :)

If anyone wants to read it, here is what I wrote about women libbers... err...

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a href'"http://www.wam.umd.edu/~bswhite/chivalry.html">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

hehe, I try. :)

If anyone wants to read it, here is what I wrote about women libbers... err... <a href'"http://www.wam.umd.edu/~bswhite/chivalry.html">Femno-Nazis</a>.

[bonacheeta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I like how my link didn't work.
http://www.wam.umd.edu/~bswhite/chivalry.html

[loudreality.livejournal.com]

haha. I'll check that out

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

But Bonnie? Do you like the fact that you are getting a college education? Do you enjoy that you don't have to get married or have kids if you don't want to? Do you like that if Bob started being an ass and hitting your or something, you could leave him? Do you enjoy getting paid the same amount of money for doing a job that a man would get paid?

I think you do. And that makes you a feminist. Nothing more, nothing less. Feminists are not by definition man-haters, or not allowed to shave or get married. I am a feminist. I shave all the time. I smell pretty damn good now as I just got out of the shower. I think I would like to get married someday. I would also, however, like to get my degree, and get any job that I would like and get paid the same as a man would.

And personally? I don't need to be rescued by a knight on a white horse. I can and will take care of myself.

[khai]

I ain't no damsel in distess and I don't need to be rescued so put me down punk. ;-)

[evergleam83.livejournal.com]

My thoughts exactly. :)