aftertherockets (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aftertherockets) wrote2004-06-19 02:32 am
aftertherockets) wrote2004-06-19 02:32 am
i am 32 flavors and then some
So I got my disk to work and I have a copy of my story on my computer and it's all backed up and everything.
The question is, if I were to post it, would anyone read it? It's long and probably not terribly interesting to anyone who isn't me or who hasn't seen it's evolution thus far. It's also still not done, because I can't come up with a decent ending for the life of me. I'm always up for more help with it, but I don't want to post it if no one's going to even care. Cause it's kind of personal, and it would kind of upset me if no one even paid attention to it. If I do post it at all, it will probably be friendslocked, though.
I just want to get back into working with it, and I'm having trouble doing so, even though my professor did make a few remarks that I've been mulling over.
Ugh. I am tired. I've been exhausted all day. I wanted to post some of those deep thinky thoughts I've been having lately last night, but Brock (from work, who is lately my favorite person to hang out with) got kicked out of his apartment last night due to various renovation problems and so he stayed here and slept in Sarah's bed. (Fear not, those who might: he doesn't play for my team, as it were. :P) So I couldn't really do the kind of writing I needed to. Instead we watched lots of Family Guy and fell asleep early. Which is also why I don't understand my tiredness, I got lots of sleep last night.
But it means that all this pent up stuff is still very pent. Suddenly that looks like a non-word. The gist? I have Daddy issues in a big way and it may contribute to most of my recent problems -- with boys, with lack of self-control, with laziness, with lack of motivation to change any of the stuff that's going wrong. The whole idea of having Daddy issues seriously bothers me, though. I used to think I was very well-adjusted considering, and now I'm wondering if it's just taken extra long to catch up with me.
And then I feel like an idiot trying to complain about stupid things that happened forever and a half ago. Because who here hasn't had a crappy childhood, really? I think it's this whole stupid Father's Day thing that's coming up, I have two "fathers" I'm supposed to be grateful for, when really I think they're both deadbeat assholes. Why do I have to kiss up on some made-up holiday just so I don't get chewed out or made to feel like a spoiled little brat who doesn't appreciate what's given to her? Or something.
I should stop lurking and go to bed. Thank you everyone for posting stuff and keeping me busy. :P (Also, ever notice how most of my posts end or begin with me saying I should go to bed?)
The question is, if I were to post it, would anyone read it? It's long and probably not terribly interesting to anyone who isn't me or who hasn't seen it's evolution thus far. It's also still not done, because I can't come up with a decent ending for the life of me. I'm always up for more help with it, but I don't want to post it if no one's going to even care. Cause it's kind of personal, and it would kind of upset me if no one even paid attention to it. If I do post it at all, it will probably be friendslocked, though.
I just want to get back into working with it, and I'm having trouble doing so, even though my professor did make a few remarks that I've been mulling over.
Ugh. I am tired. I've been exhausted all day. I wanted to post some of those deep thinky thoughts I've been having lately last night, but Brock (from work, who is lately my favorite person to hang out with) got kicked out of his apartment last night due to various renovation problems and so he stayed here and slept in Sarah's bed. (Fear not, those who might: he doesn't play for my team, as it were. :P) So I couldn't really do the kind of writing I needed to. Instead we watched lots of Family Guy and fell asleep early. Which is also why I don't understand my tiredness, I got lots of sleep last night.
But it means that all this pent up stuff is still very pent. Suddenly that looks like a non-word. The gist? I have Daddy issues in a big way and it may contribute to most of my recent problems -- with boys, with lack of self-control, with laziness, with lack of motivation to change any of the stuff that's going wrong. The whole idea of having Daddy issues seriously bothers me, though. I used to think I was very well-adjusted considering, and now I'm wondering if it's just taken extra long to catch up with me.
And then I feel like an idiot trying to complain about stupid things that happened forever and a half ago. Because who here hasn't had a crappy childhood, really? I think it's this whole stupid Father's Day thing that's coming up, I have two "fathers" I'm supposed to be grateful for, when really I think they're both deadbeat assholes. Why do I have to kiss up on some made-up holiday just so I don't get chewed out or made to feel like a spoiled little brat who doesn't appreciate what's given to her? Or something.
I should stop lurking and go to bed. Thank you everyone for posting stuff and keeping me busy. :P (Also, ever notice how most of my posts end or begin with me saying I should go to bed?)
no subject
I love Fleetwood Mac, but every time I hear the song "Oh Daddy" I just cringe, probably for that reason.
At least we can admit it. Usually only writers really can, at least, where people can see it.
no subject
I do know plenty of people who can't admit their parental issues. And you're right, they are mostly non-writers.